Freddie's wit

 Girl, "Going Down Mr mercury?"
Freddie, "For me to get off, I require a different destination entirely dear.."

Freddie, "Donna sweetie, you do have curiously bendy fingers!"Donna summer, "Don't ya'll be looking at my fingers now y'hear!"

Brian May's Hot Space telescopes

Tannoy, "Can the guy with the curly hair and white clogs please leave the telescope department and make his way to the vinyl record store on the 3rd floor?!..Your British rock band mates are waiting to begin the signing session!"

Brian, "Well I hope you're happy!! He was telling me he had a 'Starmaster 7" Oak Classic' stashed away and promised me a go!"
Freddie, *not AGAIN*
Roger, "Brian, you arrived just in time! we're about to go into full colour!
Brian, "but not 3-D?"

Brian, "Hi, I'm Brian, do you like telescopes?"

Kid, "Hey man, can you sign these quickly before I have to talk to the boring science dude at the other end"

Brian, "What!?! Microscopes?? are you taking the piss?  what's wrong with you woman?? What do you do when the moon is apogee?? Where is your microscope God then? Where??!!I am so agogue we've gone into sepia!!

Freddie Mercury - trifle..

 "I touch your lips with mine" and then I take then with me back to the hotel...

 "There's a very definite chance that we can use you on the cover of 'Mullet World Magazine' Mr Taylor, but as for you Mr May, technically we don't think that it qualifies as a Mullet, 'business at the front -party at the back' just doesn't cut it here.I have the number of '18th Century powdered wig world' if you are interested.

 Brian, "All I'm saying is that if 'somebody' had decided to put the studio key in their pocket as they were the last one to nip outside for a fag we wouldn't be in this predicament, that's all"

 Roger,"Fred this 'Tea' you got off your Moroccan mate on Kensington market..?
Freddie,"Yes dear?"
Roger, "Well I can see a giant dragon emerging from Brian's clog.."
Freddie, "Quite...scone?"

Tannoy, "Can the guy with the curly hair and white clogs please leave the telescope department and make his way to the vinyl record store on the 3rd floor?!..Your British rock band mates are waiting to begin the signing session!"

Queen funnies continued

"So I said to Geldof, look if you want me to perform in front of One Billion people I expect better backstage furniture than some fucking garden lounger from 'B and fucking Q'!"

Queen funnies

Freddie, "Gene simmons? of Kiss? All he ever does is stick his bloody tongue out!- Ooh! look at me I'm a monster! Uuuurrrgghhh!"